Forget the Resolution... Use Your Values to Create Your Best Year

It's December 21, 2020. It wouldn't be at all surprising if, as you head into 2021, you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. As if you've been carrying a load that's much too heavy to bear and if you don't put it down soon, you will physically, mentally, and emotionally crumble under its weight. This has been one of the most challenging years ever. Back in March, 14 days was all it was going to take to "flatten the curve". Nine+ months later, some major cities are still on lockdown or heading into a third or fourth round.

It's been quite a lot. More than you bargained for. And with just 10 days left, it also wouldn't be surprising if you're looking to the new year with a bit of hope and thinking of your 2021 resolution.

Rather than set your normal resolution, what would it look like to define your highest held values so that no matter what happens in 2021, you're more in control and start to lift that weight off your shoulders ... permanently?

What do values have to do with anything?

In a phrase? Absolutely everything.

When you feel like you're carrying around the weight of the world, your brain is foggy, you're stressed, overwhelmed, and constantly fighting everything and everyone around you...

Your values are either out of whack or completely missing. And what's more? You're completely unconscious of it.

Every single person lives by a set of values, whether you can name them or not. They're formed over the years as you gain your unique set of experiences. You start taking note of what allows you to feel most like you even if you're completely unconscious of it. Your soul and intuition know exactly who you are, and create moments of peace and euphoria the instant your Truest values are present.

Collectively your values dictate what you honor, what you hold dear, and what's most important to you. So when they're challenged, whether you're conscious of it or not, you go into fight or flight mode ... most often fight. Because you'll do anything to fight your way back into alignment and equilibrium; to feel like your Truest self again.

Side note: the deeper the value, the deeper the emotion attached to it. So when you're in your highest state of stress, feeling as if you might explode from feeling so out of sorts, one of your highest values is being challenged by an outside force or it's completely absent from the situation.

Forget the resolution. Outline your values.

There's absolutely no way of knowing what 2021 will bring. It could be more of the same or the best year ever. Regardless of what happens, you have complete control over which it will be. How? By identifying your values and aligning every goal, decision, and action to them throughout the year.

And how will that make it the best year ever? You create experiences so that at least one of them is present in any moment. That's one of your greatest super powers! Only you know your values, and thus you have everything you need within you to bring them to life in every situation.

Think back to your last 5 resolutions. What were they rooted in? If you're being honest with yourself likely a little bit of guilt and shame, which is perfectly understandable. Most resolutions are rooted in feeling as if you "need to" or "should" because someone else or society at large leads you to believe they're the answer you've been looking for. Let me be the first to tell you, you don't "need" or "should" do anything. Those two words are rooted in deep catabolic energy. In order to genuinely move something forward, it's rooted in "want".

And what's one of the most effective ways to get to something you want? Root them in your values, because after all, they're what allow you to feel like your Truest self. And when in that space, you tap into your highest creativity, connection, and intuition; all of which lead to your highest potential and achieving your dreams and deepest desires.

How do you define your values?

Like anything else in life, there isn't just ONE way. Gaining awareness and perspective around what's most important to you can only come from you, but here are 3 ways to get you started:

  1. Inventory your most joyful moments. There's no doubt you have a handful of moments where you absolutely remember being in the zone. Your zone. The times you felt on top of your game. Completely and utterly in the moment. Those were the moments of your Truest self. What was the situation? What happened? What strengths did you utilize? For example: As I scan my life, my "highest self" moments are those where I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. It's there I've forged some of my deepest connections and initiated some of my most creative endeavors. And so, humor and connection are two of my top values.
  2. Inventory your most angry moments. These are probably easier to remember. The anger was so deep and so pronounced you almost couldn't control it. What was the situation? Why did you feel such anger? One of my other highest values is authenticity. I had a boss who led by manipulation. I never knew who was going to show up or worse yet, I'd trust a certain version only to be burned later. Every interaction with him was stifling. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I was so uncomfortable. He challenged every bit of my authentic value, and with every passing day it got worse to the point I literally couldn't take it. And so I quit ... to start my own business and honor the value in every moment.
  3. Make a list of your deal breakers. Maybe you're looking for a new job in 2021. What about the leader, team, or culture do you absolutely want? For instance, maybe you want a short commute. Absolutely! Who doesn't?! So translate that to values - work/life balance, time with your family, etc. Or maybe you want a culture that is genuinely inclusive of everyone - maybe that means authenticity, diversity, individualism, whatever most resonates with you.

After all of this, you'll have a list of several values, which makes total sense! You've experienced a lot and several things are important to you. Though it's likely there are 3-5 that really stand out and drive who you really are.

Read through your list multiple times. What themes emerge? Can any of them be grouped under a larger umbrella? As you read them, which ones incite the deepest emotion - anabolic (constructive) or catabolic (destructive)?

Keep re-ranking your list until you've gotten to 3-5. Write them down on an index card and carry it with you for a week. Each night before you go to bed read them out loud. Run through your experiences from that day? If you felt a "high" what was present? If you felt angry what was missing or challenged? If something no longer resonates, eliminate it. Does something else come to mind based on what you went through?


Much like it's taken your lifetime thus far to form the unconscious version of your values, it will take some time to identify the conscious version. This is your time. No need to rush. Really dive into your experiences. Over time you'll recognize what makes your souls sing and what makes you want to scream into a pillow. Those instances are the mile markers on the highway to your values.

You are worthy and deserving to create a life that brings you joy, peace, and fulfillment. You have everything inside of you to make it happen. What would it feel like to outline your values and align everything to them from this moment on to create the life of your dreams?

If you're looking for other ways to get into alignment, check out this FREE download: Discover the Ideal You: "DIY" your way to getting exactly what you want.



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